“A Church That Knows When To Walk Away”

An Exegetical Sermon on Titus 3:9–15 (NLT)

Titus 3:9–15 (NLT)

9 Do not get involved in foolish discussions about spiritual pedigrees or in quarrels and fights about obedience to Jewish laws. These things are useless and a waste of time. 10 If people are causing divisions among you, give a first and second warning. After that, have nothing more to do with them. 11 For people like that have turned away from the truth, and their own sins condemn them. 12 I am planning to send either Artemas or Tychicus to you. As soon as one of them arrives, do your best to meet me at Nicopolis, for I have decided to stay there for the winter. 13 Do everything you can to help Zenas the lawyer and Apollos with their trip. See that they are given everything they need. 14 Our people must learn to do good by meeting the urgent needs of others; then they will not be unproductive. 15 Everybody here sends greetings. Please give my greetings to the believers—all who love us. May God’s grace be with you all.

INTRODUCTION: WHEN THE FIGHT ISN’T WORTH THE FIGHT

I grew up thinking that being “right” was the same thing as being “righteous.” If someone said something dumb, unbiblical, half-baked, I thought my job was to correct them, fix them, and—if necessary—destroy them with Scripture.

Then I became a pastor.

And I realized what Tim Keller once said was hauntingly true: “You can win the argument and lose the person.”

Paul ends the book of Titus with that level of clarity. His last words aren’t just doctrine—they’re pastoral wisdom. They’re battle instructions. They’re soul-protection guidelines. They’re the Holy Spirit saying:

“Not every fight is worth your life. Not every argument deserves your blood pressure. Not every person wants peace.”

This is Paul’s way of saying to Titus, a young pastor on a wild island full of chaos, immaturity, and spiritual immaturity:

“Son… pick your battles.”

Today, we’re going to walk through this text like one long story—because that’s how Paul wrote it. A letter. A heart. A father to a son.

1. AVOID FOOLISH DISCUSSIONS (V. 9)

Paul starts with something that feels painfully relevant today:

“Do not get involved in foolish discussions… These things are useless and a waste of time.”

Useless. A waste of time.

Paul doesn’t say they’re dangerous. He doesn’t say they’re demonic. He doesn’t even say they’re sinful. He says:

“They’re pointless.”

John Mark Comer calls this the trap of “hurry sickness of the soul”—we waste spiritual energy fighting battles that don’t move us toward Jesus. Tyler Staton says it like this:

“We become prayerless because we are distracted by things that don’t matter.”

Paul is saying:

“Stop wasting the spiritual bandwidth God gave you.”

STORY — ARGUMENTS THAT MAKE NO DIFFERENCE

After church one Sunday, a man stopped me with fire in his eyes. Not about theology. Not about the Trinity. Not about salvation. He wanted to argue—for 20 straight minutes—about why the only truly biblical worship was hymns played on a piano. He was heated. I mean heated. Sweat-beading-on-the-forehead heated.

He wasn’t asking for clarity. He wasn’t asking for unity. He wanted a fight.

And about ten minutes in, it hit me: Even if I "win" this debate, this man is not walking away more like Jesus.

Some arguments shape disciples. Other arguments split churches.

Paul says, “Walk away from that stuff.”

APPLICATION

Don’t chase Instagram theologians into pointless rabbit holes.

Don’t spend hours debating people who don’t actually want truth.

Don’t get emotionally drained by family members who only want an argument, not a Savior.

In a Mark Driscoll tone: “You got bigger battles to fight. Stop shadowboxing with stupidity.”

2. DEAL WITH DIVISIVE PEOPLE BIBLICALLY (VV. 10–11)

Now Paul gets heavier:

“If people are causing divisions… give a first and second warning. After that, have nothing more to do with them.”

This is church discipline. Plain and simple.

Paul says: warn them once. Warn them twice. After that:

“Distance yourself.”

Not out of hatred. Not out of pride. But out of holiness.

What Paul is saying here is massive. Distance is not punishment—it’s protection. It’s not retaliation—it’s preservation. Holiness sometimes requires space, because proximity to divisiveness corrodes unity. Paul is reminding Titus that boundaries are not unloving; they are evidence of love. Love for the church. Love for truth. Even love for the person acting divisively.

This is what every shepherd eventually learns: if you don’t create distance from destructive behavior, it will create destruction in you.

Paul isn’t calling Titus to be harsh; he’s calling him to be 7holy. And holiness means valuing the spiritual health of the whole community over the comfort of one unrepentant individual.

Paul Tripp says:

“Self-deception is the most dangerous deception, because the deceived doesn’t know they’re deceived.”

This is exactly the kind of person Titus is dealing with in Crete. A divisive person rarely wakes up and says, “You know what? I’m the problem.” No—self-deception blinds you to your own contribution to the chaos. It convinces you that everyone else is wrong, that your perspective is the pure one, that your emotions are justified, that your disruption is actually righteous.

Self-deception is spiritual carbon monoxide. You don’t smell it. You don’t see it. You don’t even know it’s there… but it’s killing the unity of the church.

That’s why divisive people can be so dangerous—they genuinely believe they’re helping, when in reality they’re harming. They call it discernment, but it’s actually suspicion. They call it conviction, but it’s actually control. They call it contending for the faith, but it’s actually contending for their preference.

And Paul is telling Titus: “Don’t debate with self-deception. Don’t empower it. Don’t coddle it. Warn it—and if it refuses correction, create distance.”

Because until a deceived person is willing to see the truth, you cannot reason them into it. They need the Spirit to break through the fog.

Divisive people don’t need another argument—they need boundaries.

STORY — BOUNDARIES SAVE SOULS

I once watched a pastor keep giving a divisive leader “one more chance.” Over and over. He thought he was being gracious. He thought he was being Christlike. But in the process… the church was bleeding.

Eventually, another leader stepped in and said, “Brother, grace doesn’t mean letting someone burn down the church.”

Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is protect the flock.

EXEGETICAL NOTE

When Paul says, “have nothing more to do with them,” it reflects Old Testament covenant language. It means:

“Stop giving them authority. Stop giving them influence. Stop giving them access to hurt people.”

Because here’s the truth: authority is discipleship. Influence is discipleship. Access is discipleship. Whoever you empower, you shape; and whoever you give influence to, you allow to shape others. Paul is saying, "Titus, don’t hand the microphone to someone who’s preaching with their attitude instead of the gospel."

This isn’t about silencing critics. This is about silencing chaos.

A divisive person with authority becomes a destructive person with permission. And when someone is tearing down the church, the most gracious thing you can do is remove their platform before they remove the church’s peace.

You’re not punishing them—you’re protecting the sheep. You’re guarding the unity Jesus died for. And you’re drawing a clear line: this house belongs to Jesus, and His Spirit, not to confusion, manipulation, or rebellion.

This is loving. This is kind. This is biblical.

3. A HEALTHY CHURCH IS A SERVING CHURCH (VV. 12–14)

Paul shifts from conflict… to mission.

From toxic people… to kingdom people.

“Do everything you can to help… see that they are given everything they need.”

Paul is saying:

“Healthy Christians carry weight. They meet needs. They stand in the gap.”

Because Paul isn’t describing some elite version of Christianity here—he’s describing normal Christianity. He’s saying, “Titus, this is what spiritually mature people look like. They take responsibility for people who can’t carry their own burdens.”

Healthy Christians don’t spectate. They don’t consume. They don’t treat the church like a spiritual drive‑thru where they order blessings and peace out. They carry weight. They step under the load with their brothers and sisters. They look at someone else’s crisis and say, “I may not be able to fix everything, but I can hold up my corner.”

Healthy Christians see needs—real, urgent, messy needs—and instead of saying, “Someone should do something,” they say, “I can do something.”

And they stand in the gap. That’s priestly language. That’s Jesus-language. It's what Jesus did between us and the wrath we deserved—He stood in the gap. And when you stand in the gap for someone else, when you step between them and pressure, between them and isolation, between them and despair—you’re looking like Jesus without even realizing it.

Paul’s point is simple: the church becomes healthy when the people in it carry something besides opinions.

THE BEAUTY OF GOSPEL HOSPITALITY

Apollos and Zenas weren’t just visitors. They were missionaries. Teachers. Leaders. Paul says:

“Take care of them. Fund them. Bless them.”

This is radical generosity. Judah Smith calls this:

“The hospitality that looks like Jesus.”

EXEGETICAL INSIGHT: “URGENT NEEDS”

Verse 14 says:

“Meet the urgent needs of others, then they will not be unproductive.”

In Greek, urgent needs refers to tangible, physical, visible needs.

Paul is telling Titus:

“Teach the church to serve. A church that only listens but doesn’t act becomes spiritually stagnant.”

And church—this is where we lean in.

Because Paul isn’t giving Titus a suggestion; he’s giving him a mandate. He’s saying, “Don’t just preach sermons—mobilize saints. Don’t just inform them—ignite them.”

A listening church can grow in knowledge. But a serving church grows in Christlikeness.

A listening church fills seats. But a serving church fills needs.

A listening church applauds truth. But a serving church embodies truth.

And here’s the call-to-action: If you belong to Jesus, you are not a spectator—you are a servant. The Spirit of God did not save you to sit. He saved you to step in, step up, and step out.

This is your moment to ask: “Where do I carry weight? Whose burden can I help lift? Whose urgent need can I step into?”

Serving is not for the spiritually elite—it is for the spiritually alive.

So Paul is telling us today: “Get in the game. Don’t wait for perfect conditions. Look around. See the need. Fill the gap. Don’t let your faith get stagnant—put it to work.”

APPLICATION

Serve someone with no expectation of return.

Meet a need that’s uncomfortable.

Use your gifting to bless others emotionally, spiritually, financially.

STORY — PRODUCTIVE CHRISTIANS SERVE

I once met a man whose story floored me: every Saturday morning he drove to the same neighborhood, knocked on the same doors, and brought groceries to single parents. No one asked him to. No one praised him.

He told me, “I just couldn’t imagine Jesus sitting at home while people suffered.”

That’s Titus 3 Christianity.

4. A GOSPEL GOODBYE (V. 15)

Paul ends with:

“May God’s grace be with you all.”

Not truth. Not rules. Not warnings. Not discipline.

Grace.

Because the whole Christian life begins in grace, continues in grace, and ends in grace.

Tim Keller said:

“Grace is not the ABCs of Christianity. It is the A to Z.”

This goodbye is Paul saying:

“Titus, shepherd the church… but do it soaked in grace.”

THE GOSPEL PRESENTATION — THE GRACE THAT SAVES US

If you’re here today and you’re exhausted from trying to fix yourself… or tired of fighting battles that don’t matter… or aware that sin has made you spiritually unproductive… hear this:

Jesus didn’t come to make bad people good. He came to make dead people alive.

The same grace Paul ends the letter with is the grace God offers you today.

You don’t earn it. You can’t buy it. You don’t achieve it.

You receive it.

Romans 10:9 says:

“If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.”

THE SINNER’S PRAYER

If you’re ready to surrender your life to Jesus, pray this with me:

“Jesus, I come to You today. I admit I’m a sinner and I need Your grace. I believe You died for my sins and rose again to give me new life. Today, I turn from my sin and I turn to You. Forgive me. Save me. Make me new. I give You my life. In Your name I pray—Amen.”

CONCLUSION: A CHURCH THAT KNOWS WHEN TO WALK AWAY

Paul’s ending to Titus is a blueprint for a healthy church:

Avoid foolish fights.

Protect the flock from divisive people.

Serve with urgency and generosity.

Do everything in grace.

If we live this… we will be a church worth belonging to, a church that reflects Jesus, and a church that stands out in a world full of noise.

May God’s grace be with us all.